Confessions of a Twitter Bot

Stories from the "Pod Life"

300lb shifty-eyed disinformation spook by day, sexual humiliation enthusiast by night. Jerry X is no average three hundred pound basement apartment dweller, he works for the NSA. He is a member of the NSA’s secret social media counter-intelligence task-force.

“It’s a fancy job title,” he says, “but basically we pretend to be real people with real lives sharing real opinions on social media.” With the use of the NSA’s most advanced technology, people like Jerry are able to make countless profiles and help keep the internet safe.

“I use about 200 different profiles a day, but everyone thinks they belong to real people. The technology is really advanced!”

 Jerry is three hundred pounds in real life, but in his day job he gets to be whoever he wants. “One day I’m Aunt Martha making sure no one spreads vaccine hesitancy in the comments section of popular Substack pages; the next minute I’m Joel Darrick—a proud veteran from Hawaii combating harmful rhetoric about ‘forever wars’ under Ben Shapi…