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Michael R. Burch's avatar

David, I enjoyed your translation.

It has many fine lines and images, and reads well overall.

One small suggestion:

Like a mirror, smooth and clean[; or .]

If we go back to the beginning of the sentence, this line begins a separate thought.

David Gosselin's avatar

The translation is by Daniel Platt, but I agree that it’s a rathe impressive translation—especially given the length.

It’s also one of Schiller’s final poems. It has a very matured quality and refined sense of craftsmanship. The sublimity comes across through the powerful development of the drama and Hero’s speeches.

It is the mark of a true tragedian.

Michael R. Burch's avatar

It is a commendable translation.

A quirk with Substack is that it can give the impression that a translation was done by the publisher, since your name is immediately below Schiller's.

You may want to put the translation credit at the top of the page.