I always prefer to indent the shorter lines, so as to bring out the structure of the poem. This is because art is about the transmutation of content into form. And it is this which gives art its healing effect, both for the artist and the audience. That form of course should emerge naturally from the content, and so help reconcile one to it.
This also means that irregular lines are easily seen for what they are.
Dana had made a good point when I showed him a draft of the translation. I expressed my frustration with trying to recreate the drama of the original, but he just suggested that by tightening up the meter the drama would naturally emerge.
And he was right!
With translation, it's always a bit of a dance to avoid introducing lines that feel contrived or artificial, especially since there's the added constraint of trying to stay true to the original, but with enough effort, usually everything can be ironed out. It just takes a good amount of time.
I spent 5 weeks on the Cranes of Ibycus translation! But overall, I think it came out well. And it was good practice for touching up a few of my own mythological ballads.
'Learn the rules like a professional. Then break them like an artist.' Picasso.
And what he says really is true.
It usually takes me about four months to get a poem right. Time spent getting that last word is never wasted; because then the Muse begins to realise you're a serious contender and starts to give you better and better poems
Your scansion is getting a lot better.
I always prefer to indent the shorter lines, so as to bring out the structure of the poem. This is because art is about the transmutation of content into form. And it is this which gives art its healing effect, both for the artist and the audience. That form of course should emerge naturally from the content, and so help reconcile one to it.
This also means that irregular lines are easily seen for what they are.
Thanks.
Dana had made a good point when I showed him a draft of the translation. I expressed my frustration with trying to recreate the drama of the original, but he just suggested that by tightening up the meter the drama would naturally emerge.
And he was right!
With translation, it's always a bit of a dance to avoid introducing lines that feel contrived or artificial, especially since there's the added constraint of trying to stay true to the original, but with enough effort, usually everything can be ironed out. It just takes a good amount of time.
I spent 5 weeks on the Cranes of Ibycus translation! But overall, I think it came out well. And it was good practice for touching up a few of my own mythological ballads.
Onwards!
'Learn the rules like a professional. Then break them like an artist.' Picasso.
And what he says really is true.
It usually takes me about four months to get a poem right. Time spent getting that last word is never wasted; because then the Muse begins to realise you're a serious contender and starts to give you better and better poems
Keep up the great work Brother
Congratulations on the Antigone publication!
Thanks!
For those interested, Antigone previously published my piece on tragedy, “Why We Need the Tragic: Schiller, Cassandra and the Rebirth of Tragedy.”
This ain’t the last. And there’s still plenty to translate haha.
https://antigonejournal.com/2024/04/schiller-cassandra-rebirth-tragedy/